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What happens when a Tummy Monster stops being in a tummy and starts being real? Welcome to The X Spot. Go here to read all about how Alexander Beckett Howell came into being and where he goes from there. Of course, that site will be under construction for a bit (hard to make a new website AND care for Mom and newborn), so to mollify his adoring public, here are some pictures from the Monster's first day of life. A truly happy new years to all!

Stef, just prior to going to hospital.

Oh, hai. I'm a baybee.

Proof of Xander's largess (8 lbs, 6 oz).
Please note full (misshapen) head of hair.

= happyprideloveexhaustion

Goodnight, my minions.

The "Loss" Of The Tax Break

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today we mourn not just the loss* of the potential tax deduction Stef and I could have claimed on our 2007 taxes, but also the never-ending source of conversation having a child on the last day of the year would have brought us. Also, there was a neat onesie that said "Tax Break" I was totally going to get for the Monster, but since he's late it doesn't make much sense.

* Yes, we know, a "qualifying child" is from birth to 17 years. So if we had gotten the 2007 deduction we would have been unable to claim the 2024 deduction. But, first off, we hopefully won't need the deduction in '24, and more'n likely we won't qualify for it even if we did thanks to our potential salaries (note: not complaining about that!). Secondly, pointing out how the deduction actually works is less funny than, you know, talking about how much we love our little Tax Break. That's the sad part.

PS - Happy New Years!

Monster Update: 40

It's hard to say for sure how big the Tummy Monster will be, but the average newborn weighs about 7.5 pounds (a small pumpkin (pictured)) and is about 20 inches long. The biggest part of the Monster's body is his head, but his still-pliable skull will give it the flexibility necessary to squeeze through the birth canal. If and when he deigns to make an appearance, that is.

Text adapted from Baby Center.

Another Bad Haiku

Today you are due.
What is the hang up, Monster?
Man, what a slacker.

Doctor Visit: 14: A Haiku

We... are... still... waiting...
I... must... not... be... impatient...
Please... ring... telephone

Doctor says Stef's weight gain has normalized (she's actually lost a bit of weight), and there are a couple of other indications that she's nearing the end. Like, jeez, ya think? Maybe one of those indications is that the Monster's due date is FRIDAY - JUST TWO DAYS AWAY?!? Or that my wife is as big as a house and massively, ridiculously pregnant?!?

I could totally be an OB/GYN.

Monster Update: 39

Just about a week to go and the Monster is just waiting to greet the world. He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, the size of a small watermelon (pictured). Try walking around and sleeping while carrying a watermelon in your waistband, and you'll understand how Stef is doing and why we're totally ready for him to be here now.

Text adapted from Baby Center.

Doctor Visit: 13: a.k.a. the Hold Steady

So we sit here, waiting on pins and needles for the Monster to eventually, you know, EXIST, and the Doctor basically tells Stef: same old, same old. Heartbeat's slow decline is holding steady. Position (normal) is holding steady. The Monster's exponential weight gain? Holding steady. About the only thing not holding steady right now are my nerves.

It's like if every kid in the world knew Christmas/Hanukkah was coming, but no one, anywhere, had any idea as to WHEN. They just knew it was SOON. Imagine the collective anticipation of every 6 year-old in that scenario, and then multiply it by HAVING A BABY. I would really like to meet this kid soon, but it's not like I have a say in when he pops. So I suppose I'll just sit here, twiddling my thumbs. I'll get him when he's a bit older, though, when I tell him his birthday is "in the Winter sometime" and let him sweat it out.

Monster Update: 38

The Tummy Monster has really plumped up. He weighs about 6.8 pounds and he's over 19.5 inches long (like a large bunch of leeks (pictured)). He has a firm grasp, which we'll soon be able to test when we hold the Monster's hand for the first time! Also, his organs have fully matured and are ready for life outside the womb. So long as he doesn't come while I'm stuck in 5-hour traffic due to inclement weather, we're all set!

Text adapted from Baby Center.

Another Monster Friend

CONGRATULATIONS to Justin and Saru on the birth of their healthy baby boy, Ryan Sohan!